This is one area that I was really struggling with. Even before my conversion, make up was not something that I really wore. Wearing make up felt uncomfortable and most of the time I couldn't even recognize myself.

Social convention dictates that a bride usually spends around RM800 (or more) for hair and make up. Personal conviction and preference dictates I spend RM0.

The real struggle however, came from my family and friends.

It came as a real shock for almost everyone that I decided I wasn't going to wear make up at my wedding. This was shocking to me because, I generally don't wear make up, ever. So no one except my parents have seen me wear make up (and even they've only seen me wear it a few times in high school for school productions).

Everyone (except my bridesmaids, Nunuk, and Shaun) would continuously ask me why. I always gave them the same response - I didn't feel comfortable wearing make up, I couldn't recognize myself, and most of all, I value how God made me, and if He believes I am beautiful enough, I should too.

I am not saying that we should not be clean, proper, and presentable. But just personally, I believe that we should can be all those but simple and modest as well.

It was hard. My mom, and Shaun's mom would try to convince me over and over again - just wear a little.
My and Shaun's extended relatives would say - just wear a little.
Even my friends and photographer said - just wear a little.
(Our photographer, Jane, is real quirky and non traditional. That's what we love about her, so she ended up accepting it and doing such a great job)

So many times over, I was real tempted to just give in and say fine - do what you want with my face. But I knew I shouldn't, because this decision could set a precedent for perhaps many other young girls and women who want to feel beautiful the way God made us.

Throughout my life, I had always prided myself in having no problems with acne and pimples as well. But God decided to test me and I had two huge pimples on my forehead that wedding day. I was so tempted to run to someone and say "please, give me something to cover up these planets on my forehead!" They felt like they had their own gravitational force - I kept touching them and wishing them away!

I realized through this experience, God didn't want me to just be make-up free on my "good days". God wanted me to be make-up free even in those days I felt like I needed something covered up.

God wanted to show me that He didn't see me as less beautiful or valuable in his eyes just because I had two pimples on my forehead.

God doesn't see me any less as His daughter because my eyebrows are not thick.

God doesn't view me lesser than any of His other creations, even though in the world, we compare ourselves to standards of women.

Instead, God sees what's on the inside. God sees my character, God sees my fruits, God sees my spiritual life.

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “ Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

1 Peter 3:3-4 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

God wanted to show me that it wasn't the issue of makeup that He had a problem with.
It was the issue of how we see ourselves, and what we care more about.

Which is more important?

• How we look on the outside? How we fuss about our eyebrows or a pimple or two?
• Or how God looks at us, and where we stand in the books of Heaven?