This was a sermon I preached recently in February. (A thank you to Pr Anil Kanda for the Bible story)

Before we get into our story in Mark 5 for today, let me set the context for what is happening here. We won’t read all the verses in this chapter, so I’m just going to try and summarize what has happened.

In the previous chapters, Jesus did many wonderful things and miracles and now He’s got a big multitude following Him. As Jesus and His disciples get into a boat to leave, this great multitude follows them. You can imagine His disciples saying, "Wait a minute, all these people are here now, and you want to leave?" The disciples are confused! But, Jesus leaves this great multitude and gets on the boat with His disciples, and as He's on this boat ride to this mysterious place, the Bible says that a storm came. Jesus had to rebuke the storm. Can you imagine what the disciples are going through: they left the great multitude without explanation and now they're on this boat ride and they almost die, and they have no understanding about what Jesus is going to do next.

*Mark 5 starting in v1
1 And they came over unto the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gadarenes.
2 And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,
3 Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains: *

The Desire of Ages says something interesting about this story.

EGW says (and I want you to imagine this) that after the storm, there's a beautiful sunrise, birds are chirping, lake is tranquil, there's not even a single ripple, and they land gently on the beach. They tie their boat and the breeze is gently blowing, and suddenly out of nowhere BLUBLUBLUBLUBBLUBLUB these demoniacs come running out with their chains flying everywhere...!

Jesus’ disciples actually take off running. When they get to the boat, they realize that Jesus is still there. Think about this. This is supposed to be Jesus's backup, His entourage, yet they left Him. They slowly make their way back and they see that Jesus was not moving, His hand was outstretched, and the demon was not coming any further. What a powerful sight. Can you imagine this of the disciples - 12 of them running for their lives because of one man but Jesus stood face to face with this man who was possessed - the demon.

Let's keep going.

6 But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him,
7 And cried with a loud voice, and said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not.
8 For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit.
10 And he besought him much that he would not send them away out of the country.

Besought - what does that mean? Begged. Who’s begging Jesus here not to send them out? The demons! Jesus allows them.

12 And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them.
13 And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand;) and were choked in the sea.

All the devils besought (begged) Jesus to send them into the pigs instead. And Jesus allowed them.

That's strange. Continue.

14 And they that fed the swine fled, and told it in the city, and in the country. And they went out to see what it was that was done.
15 And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.
17 And they began to pray him to depart out of their coasts.

The people saw it and they were afraid - they prayed and they begged him to leave. And so Jesus left. Let’s read on.

18 And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him.
19 Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.

The previously demon possessed man prayed (begged) Jesus to let him be with him.

However Jesus did not permit it. Suffered him not.

Let's put this altogether now. I want you to notice something.

The man - the demon possessed man - begs Jesus, "Don't send us out into the country". Jesus actually obliges by that. Jesus actually answers that prayer request.

Then the demon said, "Hey, send us into the swine". Does Jesus actually answer that prayer? Does Jesus let them enter the swine? It says Jesus permitted them.

Then, all the people were so upset about what happened and they said, "Please leave this place". They begged Jesus to leave. Does Jesus get into the boat and leave? Yes.

Then you have the one man saying, "Lord, I'm begging you, let me stay with you" and Jesus actually says no.

Now that's strange because Jesus is answering the prayers of enemies - he's answering the prayers of demons, but you have the one guy who's trying his best to follow Jesus and Jesus says, "No. You can't come with me."

When you look at the direction of this story we believe that the Holy Spirit was intentional with this. We see this build up. God answers prayers. He's even willing to listen to the requests of the demons. Surely he's willing to listen to the requests of other people. People want Jesus to leave the area and Jesus obliges. But, you have this one guy who's struggling and wanting to follow God who says, "Let me be with you," and Jesus says, "No".

This is my topic for today - God sometimes tells us no, and we have to learn how to accept no for an answer.

It’s about learning how to accept “no” as an answer, even if you don’t know why.

We like to say God answers in three ways: Yes, No, and Wait.

However, we love to harp on the “wait”. Pray harder! Be like that annoying woman and the unjust judge where she persisted in her request. Do you know that story?

This woman wanted revenge on someone, and she kept annoying an unfair judge to grant her request. The judge found her so annoying that he granted her request. The Bible is trying to teach us here, that God is nothing like the unfair judge. He wants to grant our prayer requests, but we can learn from the woman in being persistent in what we ask God for. Keep asking, keep asking, God will answer.

However here, in Mark 5, God isn’t trying to teach us about persistence. He’s trying to teach us how to accept it when He says, “No”.

We don’t like to say that sometimes, God simply says no. Not wait, not later, not pray harder, but a plain simple no.

Do you know of any other instances where God says no in the Bible?

Did you know Elijah actually prayed, "God let me die?" That’s the guy on the left. Do you know where Elijah is right now? In heaven! He's probably coming up to God and saying, "Lord, thank you for not answering my prayers. I am so thankful for that". Right?

Do you know who the guy on the right is? That’s Moses! Moses prayed, "Lord let me enter into the promised land". God said no. Moses died, but he didn't stay dead. Where's Moses right now? In heaven! He's like, "I love this place". Yknow what I'm saying?

Friends, I want you to understand something here, and that is - that some of the greatest blessings in your life come when God actually tells you no.

When we get to heaven we will come to know that some of the greatest mercies God poured on us is when God didn't do what we wanted Him to do. There are times in our lives where we're pleading, "God, please let me do this. Please do this for me. Please do something else here". And you will find the silence of God. You will find over and over again God says, "No". No. We're going to get to heaven and say, "Thank you, Lord for not answering my prayers always".

So the first lesson today is to the children - children, sometimes when your parents say “No”, it’s okay to ask why, but if they say “Because I said so”, it’s not okay for you to fight back. You have to learn to accept "no" as an answer.

When your parent or guardian says, "No video games", you may not like it. You may not understand why. But you need to accept no as the answer.

When your parent or guardian says “No” when you want another piece of cake, you may not understand why! You like cake! But you have to learn to accept no as answer.

When your parent says “No” you cannot have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now, you may get super angry at them. But you have to learn to accept no as an answer.

The sooner you learn this lesson with your parents, the people who love the most in this world, the sooner you will learn this lesson with God, the One who loves you even more than your parents.

Adults, if you haven’t learnt this lesson as a kid, then you’re going to struggle real hard with God. Sometimes God’s answer to your prayer isn’t just a "wait", but it is a "no".

Now, I’m not saying don’t persevere in prayer. Please don’t get me wrong. There’s a difference. There are some times we should pray for over and over again everyday.

The key difference is in asking for God’s will to be done.

Should you pray that you should get this particular job, or this particular school? Yes! But if God says no? Accept it. You accept His will.

Should you pray for your parents or family, for them to know about Jesus? Yes! But if God says no? No, don’t accept no for an answer. We know the will of God is our salvation. God would never say no in this case. You keep praying. You be that annoying widow and ask God to save your family. You pray day and night. You pray for hours. You agonise.

Do you see the difference? The key difference is in what you’re asking for in God’s will.

Should you pray that you will have a baby soon after being married for so long? Yes! But if God says no?

:)

This year marks the 10th year that Shaun and I have been friends. Of those 10 years, next month, we’ll be married for 4 years.

I don’t know how many of you do this, but for Shaun and I, we pray for everything in our lives before we do it. We pray, should we get together? Should we get married? Should we get a house? Should I buy a new phone? Should I get a new cat? (Many times God has said no to new pets, but I’d like to thank God for saying yes to me 5 times to getting a new dog or cat, since I have 3 dogs and 2 cats :P)

Anyway, one of the prayers we have been praying for for many years now, is should we start a family? Should we have a baby? And it’s hard to think that God’s answer would ever be “no”.

God tells us in the Bible, go forth and multiply! EGW says a home without children is a loveless home! So how could God ever say “no, you cannot have a baby”?

Well, God has told me, or us, 5 times, that we cannot have a baby.

The first time God said “no”, was when we first got married. We asked God, "how long should we wait before we have children?" And as I read Adventist Home, this quote jumped out at me.

You know, this whole book Adventist Home is full of hundreds to thousands of quotes about having children and how to raise children, but yet this quote is the one that spoke to me? I asked Pr Ben about my impression, and he said, "Nah, in a couple of years, you may change your mind. You will love kids. A childless home is a lifeless and loveless home!" So for our first 2 years of marriage, I clung to this quote, saying I will be more effective in ministry without a child.

The second time God said “No”, was just before we were married for 2 years, when I thought hmm, 2 years is about how long people wait before they have kids. Here’s the right time to pray again. We prayed, and God again said “no”.

I went back to that quote and I thought, "Hmm, this doesn’t apply anymore". So I went back to ask Pr Ben, thinking he’ll say the same thing that he said to me almost 2 years ago about changing my mind and wanting kids. So I went back to him and told him that maybe I want to have children, and I told him about how in the beginning I had that quote speak to me and decided not to but maybe now it’s the right time. As I sat in front of this bald, beaming, loves-to-have-children man, has-3-kids-of-his-own man, I expected to him to say, "Yea! Finally! I told you!". I went to him specifically because I thought I knew exactly what his answer would be. However, instead, he said to me, "Oh, well if God spoke to you and told you that it’s better not to have kids, then perhaps it’s better. I know a lot of faithful, amazing families who are so incredible and active in the ministry, and they don’t have kids". I was so sad. I came home, sad that God had said no again, and told Shaun about the answer I had received. Shaun shared that God’s answer to him had never changed despite praying again.

The third time God said “no”, was about half a year later. I was not happy. I thought perhaps God said, “wait”. and not “no.” So I asked Him, "How about now?". At that time my devotion was going through a devotional book by EGW, and God was mighty silent. I was angry at God for being quiet and I said, "Fine. If You don’t want to talk to me, I don’t want to talk to You today either". So I skipped my devotion and prayer that day. The next day, in the car, I remember Shaun was driving me somewhere. I think it was on our way to our holiday. I said, "What a time to have children". So I took out my devotional, opened it to what I skipped yesterday, and lo and behold, God said this:

Three times Jesus prayed, and this was my third time praying for a child. I cried. I cried in the car on the way to our holiday. Shaun looked at me all crazy because I was previously excited to go on holiday and suddenly I’m bawling while it’s raining saying, "AAAAA I CAN’T HAVE KIDS I CAN’T HAVE KIDS" and Shaun was probably thinking to himself, "Lady, what’s wrong with you". God said “No” yet again. And I said, "Fine".

The fourth time God said “No”, I decided that I must be more persistent. I must pray harder, then maybe God will say, "Okay, you prayed hard enough". It was getting really hard by this time. After four years of marriage, family start asking, friends start asking, even children start asking, "When are you going to have kids?" Grandparents say, "Bring a child back next year or don’t come back ah". I decided to take one step ahead and pick children names with Shaun. It became really hard to accept no as an answer anymore when you actually have names for your imaginary children. I asked God, "Can I please have children now? I promise You, if I have a child, I will dedicate that child to be the next John the Baptist". So I prayed again, "God, is it time to have a baby yet?"

During this time, Shaun and I were fighting so much as well. Shaun was so incredibly busy with work that I didn’t see him much. I was wanting a child, and I felt so incredibly alone. I desired a child, and I desired my husband’s love and time.

Now, I’m not someone who uses social media very much. Sometimes I post things from 3 months ago because I forgot about it. However, I remember that around that time whether it was the day after or a few days after praying, I went online and I saw a post from someone who normally doesn’t post about spiritual things, but decided to post about her daily devotion that day. It read like this:

Before I finished reading the last sentence, I already had tears running down my face again. God was very clear. He said “no” yet again. This time, He was clear, picking a story that was exactly the same as mine. Leah - desiring a husband, desiring a child.

By this fourth time, I had become very angry at God. It was a very confusing time. I didn’t want children before. I had to be convinced that I wanted them. But when I was finally open to the idea of having children, God said very clearly not once, not twice, not three times, but four times, “no.” I became really angry at God. I refused to do my devotion because I didn’t want to hear anything anymore. My prayers became shorter and shorter, becoming only limited to praying for requests.

You would think that I would have learnt my lesson by now, after praying so many times. But I prayed again for a fifth time. I already knew what the answer was before I prayed, so there was no need to wait for an answer. God was silent. At the exact same time, I also developed a uterine bleeding disorder which made me think, not only am I not going to have kids now, I'm not going to have kids, forever. I was in pain, and I was worried about my health.

By this time, it was more about me being ready to surrender and accept God’s answer, than trying to change God’s mind. I don’t know how it happened, but I knew I felt tired of having no peace, of fighting against God, of feeling lonely, that one day I just said, "Fine, Lord. Have it Your way. I accept no as an answer". And to cut the long story short, God said, "No child, but here, have another cat in exchange". That is how I adopted my second cat, Milo. He’s still fitting in.

What I’m trying to say here is that we really have to ask for the will of God, and then not try to bend it to suit us or pick portions of scripture to play our case and “claim”. We have to ask God for His will, and learn to accept His answer, even if He says, "no".

This is why we should surrender, and how we can surrender. We learn from SALT classes or sermons that surrender is about letting God change your will, giving God your will, being willing to change, letting go, etc. But here’s what I want you to understand about surrender, and what the key of surrendering to God is.

It is just a choice.

Surrendering to God, is just a choice. You choose to. Once you choose to, everything else falls into place, your will, your willingness, your heart, your release, whatever else you hear all the time about surrender, all that starts with - a choice.

Before I end here today, I just want to go off on a small tangent and share the reason of how and why I didn’t end up leaving God after being so angry with Him.

I truly believe in Care Groups, and in home church, or rather, in small groups. I also truly believe that the blessing in hosting a care group is given not to the members, but to the host.

I was so angry at God that I really didn’t want to spend any time with Him. But whenever Sabbath came round, people came over. Before church was allowed to open, I prepared Friday night dinner, Sabbath breakfast for whoever stayed over, Sabbath lunch, and Saturday night dinner if anyone stayed. It was incredibly tiring, but that friendship and fellowship that came from us spending so much time together, kept me in church and in constant connection with God.

Every Friday night, whenever sunset came around, I dreaded it, having people over, having to do so much, to cook so much, to clean before they came, to clean after they came. I always kept saying I need to move out, I need to leave! I need to run away! And whenever Sabbath was over, I sat there exhausted, but smiling, thinking how much fun it was.

Hosting care group and home church and sleepovers was exhausting, but it is in this group where I have had the most genuine friendships since joining the Adventist church. Everyone looks after each other.

I remember one Sabbath sundown as well, so clearly, where Syn Yi shared about the Christian wheel. She got everyone of us to stand in a circle, holding hands, and this is what she shared with us.

So you stand in a circle, holding hands. Jesus is supposed to be in the centre of the circle.

What we learn in Bible study is that when everyone grows closer to Jesus, everyone grows closer to each other too, sure. But here is what she illustrated as an extra.

One person steps in towards the circle. Now another person steps in. Now another. You see what has happened? The people who step in, are pulling the one who hasn’t moved, closer towards the circle. The person who hasn’t moved, try to step back. It’s hard, isn’t it? The people who are closer to the centre of the circle prevent you from stepping back too much.

Return to the original circle, and everyone lets go of each other's hands. One person steps in towards the circle. Another person steps backwards. Another person spin around in circles. Okay the spinning around represents nothing, I just wanted to see that for fun. When you are not connected to anyone in the wheel, people go in and out.

Do you get the point?

Syn Yi might have meant that message for someone else there that day, but little did she know, it spoke directly to me.

This is why it’s important to stay in the wheel. Your feelings will always tell you, "I don’t feel like joining. I don’t feel like going. I don’t feel like having people over. It is such a hassle. Everyone is so annoying. I’m fine on my own". And yes, it will feel like all of that. But, when you push past that, that blessing of having true genuine friends, or of hosting and having people over, will shine into your life so brightly - whether it is to you, your spouse, your kids, or your household.

Let’s go back to Mark chapter 5 now and finish the story.

20 And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men did marvel.

How many men marvelled? All.

Did you know that when Jesus goes back to this area months later all the people accept Him because of the preaching of this man who spent what - an hour with Jesus? This man became a missionary. He was converted and he took the gospel with all the little that he knew and he shared it. He didn’t understand why he was left behind at that time but God’s purposes were greater than he understood. So this man obediently goes out and preaches the gospel exactly like Jesus told him to, and then when Jesus shows up again in that area, He finds the group of people that don’t reject Him but rather a group of people who are excited about Him.

Friends, when God says no it’s because He has a greater purpose in mind for you. Often times in our lives we can look back and we ask, "Why didn’t He listen to me? Why didn’t Jesus just say yes?" You may have some bitterness towards God, but friends, I want you to understand something. God’s purposes for you are greater than you even realize than you even know.

Sometimes God says no to a good thing, and that’s okay. The lesson here we need to learn is to trust and to surrender. Or rather, what we need to learn is the choice - to choose, to surrender and literally just say, "Okay, fine, I accept. Lord, if you say no, even if it’s for a good thing, no".

Here’s the thing about surrender. I always say to everyone that God has such a sense of humour. And God has such timing.

But yes, because of surrender, I am pregnant :)

What I learnt about surrender is that finally, God is number one in our lives. If we lose this baby, it's okay. That's because I already surrendered to God that it's okay if I don't ever have children in my life.

If we have this baby, that's okay as well. The lesson I also learnt, was to fully surrender not just our lives, but our bodies as well. Because while I believed that I don't ever want children, now God says, after 4 years of marriage, children will be good for you. And I have to learn to accept that God knows that at this stage of our lives, children will be good for us.

If not for learning how to surrender, I think I would have been upset with God again, for giving me a baby when I had finally accepted that I would be my childless my whole life and telling me no 5 times. I could say "why, what for, no thank you". But the lesson of learning to surrender carries forward to all parts of life, and life becomes so much easier to live. :)

This was the lesson God wanted to teach me - the choice to accept God’s will even when we don't like it, and to truly surrender our choices to Him.

PS; For my medical friends who may find this interesting - this is how much of a miracle baby this is:

I could tell you exactly which day and what time the baby was conceived as I am extremely regular with my cycle and only one conception was made that entire month - Day 24.